Ep. 12 Ancient History

Preface: Thoki has tricked his brother, Jormungandr the world Serpent into taking him and Lor to Egypt. They are now searching Heliopolis (Now part of Cairo) for evidence of ISFAT, the ancient chaos that existed before order. Thoki hopes to use this chaos to rule the world.

Lor is a Frost Giant. He wants to know if Paddington Bear is related to Rupert Bear.

When the menfolk came to Loki’s house, they were ready. Frey and Tyr were first in the door as Sigun quietly let them in. Thoki and his brothers jumped to their feet, each one stepping protectively in front of Hel. There was hushed conversation at the entry between Sigunn and the men, while the boys shook and sweat in anxiety. Fenrir was stronger than a fully grown Aesir, but he couldn’t best an entire hoarde of them. He was only sixteen at that, and while full of adolescent fire, he hadn’t quite quelled his fear of his elders. Jormungandr looked even less certain and his slight frame shivered at the sight of the warriors in full battle-garb. Hel remained seated, her expression resigned. What was to happen would happen. Despite her composure, however, her eyes looked large and scared, and Thoki grasped her hand and squeezed it.

Loki sat in his chair by the fire, smoking his pipe as calmly as if nothing was wrong. Only the slightest twitch of a smile in the corner of his mouth betrayed him. The fire-god’s eyes burned brightly in the dim room and he regarded his brood thoughtfully.

“Loki,” said Frey from the doorway.

“You forgot to say ‘bless all here,’ when you entered, Frey,” said Loki airily. “I’m shocked.”

“You know why we’re here,” said Frey.

“I know. I also know that you had to wait until Thor was away to do it. Didn’t want the lummox to queer the deal, huh?”

Frey didn’t answer. “Your spawn are to come with us.”

Loki caught Fenrir’s worried expression and gave him the slightest smile. Fenrir was his father’s golden boy (or golden retriever anyway).

“If it is Odin’s will, I have no choice,” said Loki, rising. He sighed theatrically, “… but you have to fetch them yourselves. I’m not the sort of father to just give his children away.”

Frey nodded. “I would have thought less of you if you were.”

Loki’s charming smile flickered and his voice became harsh. “Your opinion of me can’t get any lower, Frey. Let’s skip the pretense …from one outsider to another.”

Frey nodded. “As you wish.”

“Yeah, whatever,” grumbled Loki before turning to his sons. “Boys, we have some guests who have waived the rights of hospitality. Go greet them, won’t you?”

“You Jotun are coming with us,” snarled Heimdall.

“Fat chance!” cried Thoki, raising his fists in (what he hoped) was a threatening stance.

Unexpectedly, the room went silent as everyone — Aesir, Vanyr and Jotun alike stared at Thoki.

“Whattaya think you’re doin?” demanded Fenrir.

“I’m… not going with them either,” said Thoki uncertainly. “I’ll stand and fight with you rather than go quietly.”

“Go away, wiener,” hissed Jormungandr. “You’ll only get in the way.”

“Yeah, beat it, ass!” snarled Fenrir. “We’re busy protecting our sister.” The emphasis on “our” made Thoki shrink. He risked a glance back at Hel who shook her head sadly.

“What you just want me to give up?” Thoki asked.

“Boy,” came a kind voice over his shoulder. Thoki spun around to find himself staring up at the dashing Frey. The Vanyr was sporting a bemused expression. “Go back to your mother, young man. We do not want you.”

“You heard them,” said Loki, and Thoki turned to look at his father. “No one wants you. Go back to your whimpering dishrag of a mother and try on her apron. These men are after my sons and daughter, not a pale little mistake like you.”

“But…” said Thoki, his fists finally falling at his side as hot tears ran down his face.

“Go,” said Hel quietly.

Thoki ran.

******************

The city of Heliopolis is one of the oldest cities in recorded history. It pre-dated the Pharoahs, and probably pre-dated pre-dating, for that matter. It was built upon, time and time again as it became part of the Old Kingdom, and then the New Kingdom of Egypt. It had sheltered Joseph, Moses, and (according to legend) the infant Jesus Christ and his Virgin Mother.  The Egyptians, Jews and Greeks had given in many names that all meant “City of the Sun,” but its newest name, Al-Matariyyah “The Mother”, reflected this last legend.

“It all comes back to the stinkin’ Bible,” snorted Thoki as he rubbed his sunburned nose in annoyance.

 Thoki and Lor. were wending their way through the dense shopping district in what was now just another district of Cairo. Here vendors tried to sell him freshly-cooked lamb, knock-off Prada bags and Bootleg DVDs of the newest Harry Potter movie.

Like Lor, Thoki’s passing from immortality to death to the mortal plane had unlocked a few secrets of The Universe, and one was the understanding that all languages were basically the same (on a primordial level.) This gave him the ability to say “No thanks,” to all the vendors and brush them aside, with an occasional, “For the LAST TIME, NO! GET BENT!”

“What’re we looking for?” asked Lor.

“We’ll know it when we see it,” said Thoki. He didn’t want to admit that he had no idea what they were looking for. Everything had changed so much since his last visit to Cairo which had been pitifully limited.

He’d once taken a school trip to Egypt in his childhood with the other young Aesir. They were in Cairo for all of 4 hours and one of those hours he had spent LOST, having wandered off from the tour.

Of course, it was all different now, even if he could remember what it had been like. For one thing there was glass in the windows instead of people. Cars crawled at a sluggish pace through the congested streets instead of chariots. There were tall minarets where once there had been animal headed statuary. There were ATMs where there once were flatulent cattle staring madly at you. Such drastic change was unnerving.  It was a bit like when he visited Scandinavia again for the first time in over a millennium and discovered that it was now 3 countries.

“Is that what we’re looking for?”  asked Lor.

“No, Lor. That’s a kebab stand,” said Thoki.

“Is that it?” asked Lor.

“No, that’s a parking metre.”

“That it?”

“That’s a crate of oranges.”

“That?”

“Lamp post.”

“This is hard,” said Lor with a grimace.

“Yeah-huh,” said Thoki absently while trying to shade his face with his forearm.

He looked a wreck these days. His hoodie was torn and stained, what was left of his tee-shirt was a mess of punctured cotton that was too thin for dust rags. His jeans were now so dirty and coated with grime that they wouldn’t absorb water — it just beaded and rolled off. The cuffs had worn off a few hundred miles ago and long strings of frayed denim trailed over his cheap canvas trainers that were practically sandals they had so many holes. Lor looked like he always did:  politely confused. Still even his meticulous plodding couldn’t save his larger supply of clothes from wrinkles and moth-holes. In his dockers and extra-wide-neck polo, he looked like a telemarketer on holiday. The sun also didn’t seem to bother Lor. While Thoki’s pale Nordic skin (currently a bright crimson) was suffering under the intense North African sun, Lor didn’t seemed too bothered. He looked like a boiled ham on a bed of orange hair, but was none the worse for it. Thoki grumbled curses under his breath.

“Is that it?” asked Lor for the thrity-sixth time.

“That’s a public toilet.”

“That it?”

“That’s a…” Thoki trailed off as he took in what Lor was looking at. “…An obelisk,” he said finally.

His pale eyes lit up. They looked almost clear in his sunburned face as he brushed his white-blond hair out of the way. A phallic monument of red granite was towering over an expanse of manicured grass and trees. Running towards it as fast as they could, Thoki and Lor pushed through the crowds and dodged cars as they made their way to the Obelisk.

“This is it! I remember this being here last time I came! Braggi told me it was older than the Pharoahs, perhaps older than Egypt. If the goddess Maat confined Chaos to an earthly prison, this might give us a clue!”

“So it’s older than that beef we had at that café?”

“Possibly,” said Thoki grimacing as his stomach made distressing noises.  “…Actually, could you point out that public toilet again? “

Ep: 11 Road Trip

Recap: Thoki has tricked his half-brother Jormungandr into downing a drinking gin until he passed out. Thoki wants Jormungandr to give him an Lor passage to Egypt to look for the "City of the Sun": supposedly the location of ISFAT, the course of all chaos. Thoki intends to use this chaos to rule the world. Lor intends to find out whether "The Swedish Chef" is real.

“Head more to the south, you’re veering too far east,” said Thoki.

“Freaking hate you, wiener,” grumbled Jormungandr.  

Thoki and Lor were seated along a long coil of Jormungandr’s snake form, just behind the head. Jorm was swimming in geriatric undulations and groaning every few yards. His serpent head, fearsome beyond all human imagining, had lost some of its hellfire. Dark circles surrounded the yellow eyes (which were now bloodshot and rather glassy) and his deadly breath, said to poison all who smelled it was even fouler than usual. Jormungandr was currently suffering from a Devine headache, of the sort that was usually caused by a cranial goddess crafting armor. The larger part of a bottle of Tanqueray and a thrashing about the head were to thank for that and Jorm had awoken from his gin-induced slumber to find himself captive in bonds made of heaviest-grade tow-cable.

That was when Thoki insisted that they be given transport to Alexandria… or else.

“I’d be tempted to drown you like a navy SEAL, you little bastard, if I wasn’t afraid of my head coming off,” Jormungandr mumbled through his metal bridle.

“Sorry I had to tie you up,” said Lor amiably.

“Nah, you’re alright, Lor. We should hang out sometime. In fact, we could hang out now, if you help me get rid of my stupid half-brother. Deal?” said the Serpent.

Lor debated this for a moment. “Could we come back for Thoki later?” asked Lor.

“Sure!” chuckled Jorm (and then winced through his hangover). “He might even still be alive if he’s a good swimmer.”

“No. I think we have some things to do first, Thoki and me.” Lor shook his head, which made Thoki sigh in relief. “Maybe afterwards.”

There was a pause before the World Serpent grasped at the last straw of hope. “Sure. If you guys can make it so that Fenrir doesn’t kill me, drinks are on me.”

“Don’t worry, Jorm,” said Thoki lightly. “I’ll tell Fenrir you were coerced.”

Jorm rolled his jaundiced eyes. “He’ll never believe me — I mean NEVER, EVER in a million years believe that you beat me up.”

“Thanks,” sniffed Thoki. “So what did Fenrir mean, the city of the sun?”

Jorm was carefully quiet and Thoki realized he was on his own this time.  “City of the Sun… The Egyptian God of the sun was Ra, right?” Thoki was being rhetorical, but to his surprise, Lor spoke up.

“Well there was Atum, Atum-Ra, Aten-Ra, Horus, The Mnevis Bull, and Khepri the dung beetle… to name a few,” said the Jotun

For a while there was no sound save the lapping of waves against the huge scaly flanks and Jormungandr’s mouth breathing through his bridle.

“Alrighty,” said Thoki eventually. “So we have a lot of options. Any one of the cities of Ancient Egypt dedicated to those guys could be our target.”

“Oh, simple as that then,” said Lor nodding.

“No, it’s not simple,” said Thoki in mounting frustration. “We’re talking several thousand years of clashing pantheons changing and growing overtime, each dynasty issuing its own rules and names. God knows what those cities are called now that the old gods are crushed under this new Mohammedan- religion-thing.”

“’S’not new. The Islamic faith was developed almost fourteen-hundred years ago, ass,” muttered Jorm through the thick cables.

“That’s new to me,” said Thoki with a shrug.

“So, city of Ra… city of Aten-Ra. Maybe even Akenatum… crap. I don’t know any cities like that. I always assumed it would be at one of the big places… like Memphis, or Luxor or Cairo,” said Thoki. He kneeded his forehead with his fist in frustration as he stared at the black, churning water. The wind was picking up, and Thoki put up his sweatshirt hood and shivered. “Jorm, do you know any Egyptian city that would have been the city of the sun?”

Jorm laughed so hard he nearly choked on the cables binding him. “I got no idea, pipsqueak. I’m a giant snake as long as the Australian coastline. I don’t really sit around all day studying Greek History.”

“What DO you do all day?” asked Thoki in annoyance.

“Watch TV. I got Netflix live-streaming on my PS3 and I have most of the cable channels. I also play Frontierville a lot. Are you on Facebook, Lor? I need some more gas lamps to build my Ponderosa Lodge.”

Lor shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t understand the Internet. I go “on the line” and it says I have mail, but when I check our P.O. box at the post office it’s always empty.”

“Nah, nah, dude! You’re supposed to click on the little picture of a letter,” said Jormungandr.

“I did that once, but all I got were some pictures… very confusing pictures,” said Lor with a dazed look.

“Really,” said Jorm in the voice of one hoping for elaboration. Lor wasn’t forthcoming, however.

“I don’t’ know… it’s all Greek to me,” sighed Lor.

“Greek,” said Thoki sitting up suddenly. “Just a moment ago, Jorm. You said you didn’t sit around watching Greek history, when I was clearly talking about Egypt!”

“Um… No I didn’t?” said Jormungandr without much hope.

“You totally did! You know where we’re supposed to be going, don’t you!”

“Um… Uh…. No I don’t?” moaned Jorm. If snakes could sweat, Jormungandr would have looked like “sketchy witness number two” from an episode of Law and Order.

“Egypt was taken over by Alexander the Great starting the Ptolemic Empire! It makes sense! So… Greek god of the sun… Apollo… no. ‘Apollopolis’ just sounds too dumb for me to forget it… no…”

“Helios?” suggested Lor.

Thoki snapped his fingers. “Heliopolis.”

“Oh, God, I’m dead,” moaned Jormungandr. His body began to tremble and his scales seemed duller and colder.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” demanded Thoki.

“I can’t tell you,” said Jorm.

“AREN’T I?” insisted Thoki.

Jormungandr gave a sad little nod.

“Yes!” said Thoki, giving his brother’s bridle a vindictive little jerk. “Who’s the wiener now, ‘foot-long’?”  

The serpent said nothing, but his lethargic pace slowed to nearly glacial speed as he edged closer to certain peril.

Excerpt (warning: Rated R for Sexual Situations)

I purposefully decided not to write out the details of Thoki and Eris's reunion. Recent conversation with @WerewolfMike, @Nemone7 and @notmoro however encouraged me to write and post it as an excerpt for those who were curious. The events go back to when Thoki was running with Eris down the streets of Bastia from the other Tricksters.

They ran until they felt certain that the patter of pursuing footsteps had disappeared entirely. It seemed that Eris had done the job. The Tricksters were all too busy fighting amongst themselves to give more than a half-hearted chase.

“So… what now?” asked Thoki, out of breath.

Without answering, Eris threw him backwards against the brick wall of a menswear boutique.

“OW! HEY!” groaned Thoki! “What was that for? What’re..?”

Thoki was halted in his protests by Eris jumping on his hips and attacking his mouth in a frantic kiss.

“Oh,” he said, realization dawning.

Her teeth bit into his lips, making him wince, but the moment her searching tongue ran along his jawline, he instantly reacted. He bound his slight arms around her, twisting her leather jacket in his hands as he returned fire with a passionate kiss of his own. Their ragged breaths mingled as she clung tightly to him, her thighs hugging his waist as she slid up and down. Thoki’s heart was pounding now as he feverishly moved in rhythm to collide with her. He felt her breasts mash against his chest with each push. His hand found its way to her bare thigh and followed it under her skirt. Eris unzipped his sweatshirt, and tore the hem of his cheap shirt to shreds. She reached under it, her soft fingers gliding over his smooth bare chest before teasing his nipples into hard points. His breath came in faster grunting gasps as she excited and baited him. He wanted to get into her so badly it hurt him and he shook and sweat in his growing hunger.

It was when she climbed off and started unbuttoning his jeans that his brain slammed on the breaks.

“Whoa-whoa-WHOA! Hang on,” he said suddenly. “We’re doing this here? In the streets?”

“It’s raining, nobody’s out here,” she said breathlessly.

“But people are watching us through the windows,” said Thoki, uncertainly, trying to shoo her hands away from his fly. “There’s a guy over there at the tie store who keeps staring at us.”

“Let him. He should get an eyeful in a minute,” said Eris with a sly grin.

Thoki didn’t feel like returning it. “Besides, this wall is filthy and the bricks are rough… and it’s kind of painful. Can’t we get a room in some hote—” He didn’t get a chance to finish as Eris managed finally to undo his pants and slide them down just enough. With far too much ease, she remounted and made Thoki very aware that she wasn’t wearing a thing under her tight leather mini.

“Uh! Maybe we should…” he managed in a strange high voice before all synopses in his brain ceased firing and made him incapable of speech. He was only aware of sensations now. He smelled the perfume in her hair and the leather of her jacket. He heard her gasp and moan as she deftly led his hand under her thin tee-shirt to her breast. He could taste the salty sweat of her neck and the rain rolling off it along with the blood on his lips from her aggressive foreplay. Her voice cried out louder and louder, each time with more urgency. His voice joined hers in the unnaturally high shrieks of a man trying to keep his focus as well as his balance. The cold rain made him shiver and her burning warmth made him shudder as he fought to hold on. If people were still staring at them, he was aware of none of them. There was only this.

Eris took this opportunity to tease him, pulling away when he lunged forward and then waiting for his pants of frustration before finally gratifying him, only to pull away again. He was scarcely aware of what words were tumbling out of his mouth, it was a nonsensical babble of entreaties, exclamations, and curses as he ran the gamut of every emotion known to man in 3 seconds, and then ran them again, over and over. Twice he almost lost his footing as she drove him crazy with pain and ecstasy.

After a long loud squeal from Eris, Thoki felt safe enough in sprinting for the finish line. Spinning around, until Eris’s back faced the wall, he summoned the untapped reserve of animal energy that was driving him. His muscles burned with the pace and his thighs ached from supporting her weight. His head received a few knocks from the wall as well, but then…oblivion. He saw purple stars explode as his back suddenly arched and he loosed a feral scream into the air just as a thunderbolt shook the sleepy island and made the air smell of burning tin.

There was no post-coital cigarette. There was no obligatory 10 minute cuddle and “what are you thinking about” conversation. There wasn’t a hot shower — Hell, there wasn’t even anything even to lie down on. There was only the same unforgiving wall, which he leaned against with all his weight, while Eris hung on for a few victory laps. It was when they heard the police sirens, that Eris, with as much poise as a queen, collected herself and grabbed Thoki by the hand, pulling him into a run towards a black Mercedes parked along the street.

He stumbled raggedly behind her while doing up his jeans, wishing he could go back in time to six minutes ago. If he’d gone back ten minutes ago, he could tell himself to get a hotel room. There was generally no running with hotel rooms… that is until they discovered your credit card was a stolen one.

 He climbed into the passenger seat in a daze. A realization dawned that it had been fantastic. In his severely limited experience, it had blown every other time away without question (barring one). But amidst the glow of having tasted that black starry oblivion and coming back, was the pain of loss. It was over. Knowing Eris, she would disappear soon, and he would only have the memory of that one frantic screw to visit in his mind on lonely nights. The bitterness made him tear up, and he testily hid his eyes under his hood while he fought against crying. But despite all of that, the loss, the fatigue and the utter confusion, there was a smile on Thoki’s face and it didn’t feel like leaving.


You can find other naughty excerpts at @Nemone7's Blog and at @WerewolfMike's Blog.

Episode 10: Take a Shot

RECAP: Thoki has just beaten up his brother, the World Serpent Jormungandr. He’s hoping he can convince his brother to transport him and Lor to Egypt to look for the source of all chaos, ISFAT. Lor is trying to remember something important, but can’t remember what it is or who told it to him, or whether or not it was related to Cookie Monster.

Thoki was thirteen when his brothers and sister were banished from Asgard. He’d overheard the whole thing one evening when he was at Freyja’s house. He was beginning to recognize what those funny fluttery sensations were when he was near Freyja’s daughter, Hnoss.  One evening he’d snuck into her room to make boyish professions of love. He’d been making good progress when they’d heard voices by the hearth. Hnoss and he had paused in their clumsy petting and crept to the door to hear the conversation.

Freyja’s brother Frey had come visiting.

“We leave tonight. I’ve come to tell you to bar your door.”

“So soon?” asked Freyja

“We can’t leave it any longer. They begin to grow in power and mischief as we knew they would,” said the handsome Frey. Like his sister, he was paler and more slight than the Aesir, but there was a power to him that made Tyr and Heimdall hang back. “And please mention this to no one until we have succeeded.”

“Why not?” asked Freyja. “Surely you sought the All-Father’s approval!”

The three men looked uncomfortable and exchanged nervous glances.

“Odin has agreed to it… but if Thor should overhear… you know that he thinks Loki his dearest friend in the world,” said Tyr, rolling his eyes. “He would never knowingly turn a hand against Loki.”

“But this is NOT against Loki, only his brood, which are Jotun… and you know how Thor is incensed by Jotun,” said Freyja.

“We’re not taking any chances,” said Frey.

“Do you agree with this plan then?” asked Heimdall.

“I have had enough run-ins with Jotun… and with Loki… to know that his children cannot be trusted,” said Freyja nodding. “The sooner they are disposed of the better.”

Thoki listened as his stomach turned to ice. Disposed of? He had no doubt that, despite the fact that he and his siblings didn’t share the same mother, Freyja had meant to include him too. Hnoss’s grip on his arm convinced him further. What should he do? Should he run? Should he warn Jormungandr and Fenrir, and hide behind them? What was to become of them?

“Odin said that we must not harm them; His blood flows in their veins no matter how diluted. But he has consented let us imprison them,” said Tyr.

“You are sure of yourselves, but I’m worried about the ease with which you’ll conquer the eldest, Fenrir,” sighed Freyja.

 “We’ll manage it. I’d bet my right hand on it,” said Tyr with a grin, waggling his fingers.

****

“You know, wiener, (hic) I’ve …never hadanyfriends,” slurred Jormungandr swaying where he sat. He was sporting several cuts and large bruises, the crowning glory of which was a large swollen black eye. Thoki was wearing similar badges of honor, primarily a split lip and some very bloody knuckles. He, Jorm and Lor were seated around a cheerful fire, toasting fish on sticks. The bottle of Tanqueray was now changing hands as each took long pulls of the fragrant gin. Lor was either being very quiet, or was asleep with his eyes open again.

“You were ev’body’s favorite, lil’ Thoki,” moaned Jormungander, taking another drink and swallowing the piece of fish that was trying to escape. “E’body’s always like, ‘Ahh reverse course! It’s a gian’ sea-monster! We’re all gonna die!’ Nob’dy dossat with you, righ?”

“Nah. They jus’ ignore me all the time,” said Thoki sadly, blinking back tears. “ Or worse, they pity me. Poor lil’ short Thoki who’s a sissy an a failure. Nob’dy likes me—likes me—likes me neither.”

Jormungandr sniffed and wrapped a muscly arm around Thoki’s unresisting shoulders, briefly laying his head on him in a show of affection. He and Thoki were silent and still for a moment before the serpent-man handed his brother the green bottle. Thoki raised the bottle to his lips with some effort as there was still over 1.75 litres in it.  He pretended to drink, stopping the liquid with this tongue over the bottle’s rim. He then passed it back to Jorm who took three large swallows of the stuff before belching loudly. He then began to sing,

“Memories… all alone in the moonlight…”

“So there’s not anny-anny chance that’choo can take us to Egypt?” asked Thoki interrupting Jorm before he really got started.

At this, Jorm burst into tears. “I caaaan’t!!! Not even after that …rreally grreat fight we had!” Big fat drops were cascading down Jorm’s angular features and splashing wetly onto his t-shirt. “He would totally kill me!”

“Who’d kill ya?” asked Thoki, trying to maintain his drunk-act.

“I can’ tell you, ‘cause he’d killme,” said Jorm shaking his head. He then realized this was a bad idea and had to hold it in both hands to keep it from falling off.

“Who’d kill you for telling me who’d kill you?” asked Thoki. He was too anxious to slur his speech, but Jormungandr didn’t seem to catch on.

“Fenrir would,” said Jorm before clapping a hand over his mouth in horror. “Oh shit. Oh, God, don’t tell him it was me that told you!”

Thoki wasn’t listening. Instead he was feeling sick to his stomach and a prickly sweat was breaking out over his body making him feel feverish.

“You ‘kay, brah?” asked Jorm.

“I’m gonna barf,” whispered Thoki.

“Me too. I think we ate something funny,” moaned Jorm stifling another hiccup and wishing the world would stop spinning. “I’m gonna go to sleep now,” he said before flopping over backwards.

“I thought Fenrir was dead,” said Thoki.

“This mattress sucks,” mumbled Jorm from the smooth rock floor.

Thoki leaned over and shook his brother, who whimpered pathetically.

“Jorm, I thought Fenrir was dead,” said Thoki again, more urgently. “Vidar killed him. I saw it! He died in Ragnarok!”

“So did you,” said Jorm with a drunken laugh.

Thoki stopped breathing as the realization hit him. “He’s back?”

“Yeah, as it turns out, he’s related to the chick who gaurds the gates to the underworld,” said Jormungandr sarcastically before dissolving into giggles.

“Hel let him out too,” said Thoki.

“If it makes you feel any better,” said Jorm, “I don’t think she wanted to.”

“Does he know I’m here?” asked Thoki shaking his brother.

“Whuh?” asked Jorm muzzily.

“Does Fenrir know I’m on Earth and looking for Isfat?”

But there was no answer, only light snores rattling from Jorm’s serpentine sinus.

“Jorm! Wake up!” cried Thoki anxiously. “Jorm! Does Fenrir know!”

“He gave me a message,” came Lor’s voice form across the fire.

Thoki jumped to his feet and looked at the Jotun. “He knows then?” he asked in a hoarse whisper.

Lor nodded. “He said not to look for it. He said not to go to the city of the sun.”

“The city of the sun?” asked Thoki. He frowned. “He said that?”

Lor thought. “… Yes, but he also said not to tell you that it was he who told me.”

Thoki gave him a half smile, despite his jangling nerves. “God bless your oatmeal brains, Lor,” he said simply. “Now, we need to find a way to keep him here until he agrees to take us to Egypt,” he added, pointing to the supine Jorm.

“We still going then?” asked Lor.

“Are you kidding, Lor? If Fenrir is afraid of Isfat than it’s guaranteed to be something good.”

Episode 9: The Gentle Man

Recap: Thoki and Lor are reunited at last! They are on the run from the Bastia Police for grand theft auto, destruction of property and assault with a deadly fist. Lor has also had a mysterious visit from Fenrir with a message for Thoki. Lor will probably remember the message eventually, once he gets his mind off weightier matters like: if chickens are birds, why can’t they fly?

When Loki bothered to come home, Thoki’s mother encouraged him to stay with one of the other Aesir. He usually stayed with Forseti those evenings. Forseti was a little older than Thoki, but he liked the kid and pitied his home life — and why wouldn’t he? Forseti came from the perfect family. His parents, Baldur and Nanna, were hopelessly devoted to each other, and they both doted on their obedient loving son. It was saccharine to the point of being sickening, and one would think that Thoki would be eaten alive with jealousy. On some nights he was sick with envy, especially when he was asleep on his pallet at nights and overheard his father stumbling in drunk and abusing his mother.

When he was in Baldur’s shining silver house, however, he felt temporary relief from the constant torrent of anger that consumed him all the time. Everyone here was so welcoming to him, so kind and gentle and understanding, especially Baldur. Thoki began to seek in Baldur the comfort and advice he never got from his dad. Most of all, Thoki liked Baldur because he wasn’t like the other men. Thor, Tyr, Heimdall and the others were always berating Thoki for his cowardice and bumbling skill in battle. Odin and the women all took pity on him and commiserated with his mother. When he cried about it to Baldur he expected another lecture on the honor of battle, but it never came. Instead, Baldur put a kindly arm around his shoulder and said.

“I understand. I’m not a fighter either, Thoki, and I have been mocked for it as well by the other Aesir.”

“But everyone loves you,” said Thoki in awe. And it was true. While Thor and Odin were legendary, even among the legends, Baldur was the most beloved god in all of Asgard.

“I have earned their love in other ways, Thoki,” said Baldur quietly. “Don’t struggle in vain to become something you are not. You will never be a great warrior, and… I think that you don’t want to be, either.”

“No. I hate fighting,” said Thoki.

“As do I. But you have other talents, Thoki. You are clever, as clever as your father, but you have your mother’s good heart. Use those gifts to their best advantage, Thoki. People will love you if you become the best man you can be.”

*************

Lor was running down the wet streets of Bastia. Fog was rolling off the streets, obscuring everything in a cloying damp wall of grey. Thoki was slung over his shoulder — this was for two reasons: firstly, Thoki couldn’t run nearly as fast nor as long as Lor could; second, because it gave Thoki a chance to think. The Police had temporarily stopped chasing them as Lor had succeeded in knocking out the gendarmes who had jumped them. It wouldn’t be long, however, until a full-scale man-hunt was underway and they would have more trouble getting out of that kind of net.

“Do you have any preference as to which direction I should be running in?” asked Lor.

“Don’t end sentences with prepositions, moron,” sighed Thoki wracking his brain. His thinking was somewhat muddled by the last few hours. What if the tricksters had been right? What if the chaos could potentially undo all life itself? Was he really willing to risk that? Then again, he was taking the word of a bunch of tricksters who were as “trustworthy” as a board of directors. And then there was that incident with Eris. He had no clue what she was after. Having rough sex in the back of a Mercedes Benz was high up on his list of WINs, but it had been too abrupt, too frenetic, too… well… confusing. He was pretty sure he had enjoyed it, but his brain wasn’t so sure. He had a horrible premonition that their little tumble would end up biting him in the ass later. Right now there was only one certainty running through his head: he had to get to Egypt.  Everything would become clear if he made it to Egypt.

“Lor, try to head for the ocean!”

“Which way’s that, then?”

“We’re on an island. If you run in a straight line, we’ll come to it eventually,” said Thoki shrugging. Then an idea hatched in his head. “If you come to a liquor store, let’s do a quick smash and grab. Okay?”

“’Kay.”

In twenty minutes, they were at one of the shores along the French island. It was one of the less commercial beaches, covered in rubbish and steep inclines. There were some tide pools and rocky caves that were inaccessible, and with the evening tide rolling in, some would be cut off entirely from the mainland. Thoki couldn’t have planned it better.

“Good job, Lor!” he said with genuine feeling. The cold wind bit cruelly through his damp clothes, causing him to tremble uncontrollably, but his eyes were alight with hidden fire and his cheeks glowed pink with excitement. He found an abandoned inner tube and after he assured that it was watertight he jumped inside.

“Paddle us out to that outcrop, Lor — into that recess there.”

“You sure? The tide’s coming in?” asked Lor.

“I’m sure,” said Thoki in dead earnest.

Lor jumped into the cold choppy water and swam with all his might against the riptides. Seawater splashed into his eyes and mouth, yet he persevered with a single-mindedness that impressed Thoki. Soon they were in a relatively dry shelter of rock that was isolated by the tide, and hidden completely from the police in the fog.

Thoki pulled the 2 litre bottle of Tanqueray out from under his hoodie and using the ragged hem of his t-shirt, tied a makeshift tether to the bottle before letting it float in the water.

“JORM!!” shouted Thoki. “JORMUNGANDR!”

“What are you doing?” asked Lor quietly.

“I’m getting us a ride,” said Thoki. “This is the only way I can think of to get to Egypt with no money and the police after us.”

“I don’t think we’re supposed to go to Egypt,” said Lor suddenly.

Thoki whipped around. “What do you mean?”

“I… I’m not sure…” said Lor, looking distressed. “I forget.” He tried hard to recollect his conversation with Fenrir, but was drawing a blank. “Never mind,” he said eventually, shaking his head.

Thoki shrugged. This sudden outburst from Lor was probably another one of the giant’s strange fancies.

“JORM!!” Thoki screamed again, as loud as he could.

He kept screaming long after the pearl grey sky had turned to a bruised red and the lights of police boats winked on the horizon. Thoki was disheveled and pale by now, with red-rimmed eyes and hollow cheeks. He was cold, he was starving (literally), he hadn’t slept in ages, but his eyes were still ablaze with a mad fervor as he called out to his half-brother.

“YES! Jeez! What is it?” came a voice from further inside the cave. Jormungandr was once again in his human form, looking like a green-haired hipster with serpentine eyes. He wore another black fitted t-shirt over his marble chest; it bore the puzzling legend “SWEEP THE LEG.” Thoki paused a half second to wonder where the HELL Jorm got all these shirts.

“Hey! You got me some good stuff this time!” said Jorm, brightening as he examined the bottle of gin. He then caught sight of Thoki’s expression and his grin fell.

“What’s goin’ on?” Jorm asked, stepping back a little.

“I need to get to Egypt, and you are going to take me. NOW,” said Thoki in a hoarse voice.

Jorm shook his head, “Nuh-uh! There’s no frakking way. I don’t do passengers!”

“Oh, you’re going to. One way or another,” croaked Thoki.

“How? Are you going to set your giant on me?” said Jorm, glancing at the Jotun with disinterest.

“No. I’ll fight you myself.”

“You’re kidding me, right?” said Jorm. He laughed, but it didn’t sound convincing. Something about Thoki was bothering Jorm. He’d never seen him this focused before. The little man seemed bigger, somehow. He was still a scant 4’11, and had the build of a prepubescent girl, but there was a power underneath his shivering wet frame. In his human form, Jormungandr was as strong as ten Lors but against all reason, he was nervous.

“You don’t fight,” Jorm said eventually, in the hope that Thoki would remember this too.

“If you want to test that theory, go right ahead,” said Thoki with a smile. Baldur’s words from over a millennium ago echoed in his head.

“You will never be a great warrior, and… I think that you don’t want to be, either”

You were wrong, Baldur, thought Thoki. I didn’t want to be a great warrior… because I had nothing to fight for… but now I do.

Thoki broke into a run and Jorm tensed, frozen to the rock floor. The snake-man only had enough presence of mind to put down his precious booze before preparing to defend himself. Which was why he was unprepared as Thoki leaped into the air and clocked him on the jaw.


Thoki and Jormungandr



Ep. 8 "With Friends Like You..."

Note from Monica: We're BACK! Sorry for the massive plugging of old archives. I just wanted to start the Tuesday Serial T&L properly from episode 1. Thanks for bearing with me! Now I take up my pen — er — laptop again and continue with Episode 8. From here on in, it's news to me too!

Premise: Thoki and Lor have split up for the time being. While away, Thoki has discovered that the source of Ultimate Chaos (called Isfat) is in fact NOT the chaos of mere disorder but the primordial chaos that existed before life! In the wrong hands it could potentially destroy the world... that is IF the word of a hoard of trickster gods is worth trusting.

Lor is still at the youth hostel waiting for Thoki. By now he's forgotten how to tell time, how to tie his shoes and how to breathe regularly.

*****

Thoki had met Eris once before. It was at the inter-pantheon softball tournament a few centuries ago that was held in Folkvangr “The field of the Host”. The Greek, the Indian, the Norse and the Celtic teams were facing off that day. Thoki had been relegated to the water table with the goddesses, while the more “macho” Aesir were on the official team. He’d wound up chatting with Eris, who was banned from game for obvious reasons favoring “fair play.”

 They’d hit it off, being of similar dispositions and hating friendly competition in general. There had been a long lull in the game which had been delayed while the teams argued over whose pantheon got The Fates. Thoki and Eris had used that distraction to escape under the bleachers for a few hours. It had all been going so well until Ganesh had stumbled upon them and pointed them out to everyone.

Everyone had laughed, none louder or more offensively than Loki. The only one who didn’t laugh had been Hnoss, daughter of Frejya, who’d burst into tears and run home.

*****

Thoki ran as Eris tugged on his hand. The freezing cold rain pelted him mercilessly as his cheap shoes slipped on the slick cobblestones. He tried to discern where they were going, but the only thing he could see was Eris running ahead of him, laughing wildly at the black clouds and rolling thunder. Occasionally she’d look back and smile at him before encouraging him to run faster.

“C’mon!” she’d cry.

Thoki could only nod breathlessly as they pounded up the hills and skidded down the other side. Finally, they stopped at a Black Mercedes luxury sedan. Thoki only had time to say, “WOW,” before Eris tugged the door open and pulled him inside after her.

Something was wrong.

“Wait! Why are we in the back seat?” Thoki asked.

Eris grabbed him by his hoodie and roughly shoved until his back met the leather seats, and water droplets began to pool under his head. She shook the rain from her hair before grasping his slight shoulders and straddling his hips.

“Ohhh,” said Thoki, realization dawning.

***

                At the hostel, two German backpackers named Adam and Gunnar were discussing Lor.

                “So what’s he doing here?” Adam asked Gunnar in German.

                “I don’t know. He’s been sitting there for hours,” Gunnar. “I think he’s retarded or something.”

                “Maybe he’s just nuts, yeah? Like axe-murderer nuts. Let’s stay somewhere else. He’s creeping me out.”

                “There isn’t anywhere else. He’s not doing anything, so don’t be such a baby,” said Gunnar with more conviction than he felt.

                “That’s just it! He’s not doing ANYthing! He hasn’t moved in twenty minutes! I don’t even think he’s blinked yet!”

                As if in some response, Lor closed one eye, and then the other.

                “Do you think he understood us?” asked Adam nervously.

                The large red beard began to tremble on the giant’s mouth. “That’s one of the strange mysteries that’re revealed to you after death,” said Lor in perfect German. “You find out that all languages are basically the same.”

                The two backpackers stood rooted to the spot for a moment until Gunnar let out a paint-peeling scream. Adam followed suit and the two scrambled out of the youth hostel like it was on fire.

                “Oh my. I seemed to have frightened them,” said Lor sadly.

                “You did, yeah,” came a gravelly voice over Lor’s shoulder. It was accompanied by hot damp breath that smelled of halitosis and kielbasa.

                “Hullo, Jotun,” said the voice again and Lor, still seated on the edge of his bed, turned to see the owner. Reclining on the pillows, reading a copy of “Maxim,” was a man who could have been another Jotun for sheer size. He looked about seven feet tall and 300 lbs— 140 of those pounds appeared to be pure muscle. A shaggy head of unkempt hair framed a craggy, square face that looked like it was hewn out of granite. He leered at Lor and revealed a set of white, very sharp teeth.

                “Hullo, Fenrir,” said Lor steadily. He had just enough brain cells to be worried, but he was at a loss what to do about it.

                “You know me?” said Fenrir in mild amusement. “Good. It’ll save me a lot of trouble. Now I need you to talk to my little wiener of a half-brother.” As Fenrir said the word “talk,” he held up his magazine and punched a hole clean through the cover model's cleavage.

Lor looked unimpressed. “I’m afraid you just missed him. He’s not here now.”

Fenrir shook his head. “Nah. He’s coming back, alright. I know Thoki. Just you deliver a message for me, ‘kay? Tell him Isfat is in ‘the city of the sun'. Got that, Jotun?”

“Isfat is in the city of the sun,” Lor parroted dutifully.

“Oh, and tell him I said NOT to go there,” said Fenris with a grin.

“But you just said...” began Lor looking very confused.

Fenrir placed a friendly arm around the giant’s shoulder. “I’ve got to protect my little brother, don’t I?” he said in a friendly growl. “Wouldn’t want the wiener to get hurt, right?”

“Urrr.”

“So what are we telling Thoki?” prompted Fenrir in the manner of a Kindergarten teacher.

“Don’t let the wiener go to the city of the sun, ‘cause he’ll get hurt,” said Lor uncertainly.

“Close enough,” said Fenrir shrugging. “And you never saw me, got it?”

“I didn’t?” asked Lor. But there was no one there.

Lor bit his lip as he tried to recall what had just happened and what he was supposed to do. Only one thing was crystal clear to him:    He was waiting for Thoki.

A sudden impulse made Lor rise from the bed and stand by the range stoves in the corner. Only moments after he had done so, a Black Merceded Benz smashed through the lathe and plaster walls crushing the rows of beds. The engine expired noisily as the windscreen collapsed inward like a fallen cake. Two people were evacuating the car as its front wheels slowly stopped rotating.

“Whoo! That was awesome!” shouted Eris as she bounced out of the driver’s seat. She spun in circles while playing air-guitar and kicking over imaginary amplifiers. Thoki flopped out of the car after her, and lay flat on the detritus-choked floor. He lay there for some time, just to assure himself that he was no longer moving at Mach 3 towards a solid wall. The wail of police sirens was clearly audible now and growing louder the longer he lay there.

“Alright guys. Time for me to jet!” said Eris coyly. She clicked through the menu of her golden ipod for a moment.

“Sweet! I love this song!” she cried out as the guitar riff from “Barracuda” started booming over her earbuds. “Later, taters!”

Blowing Thoki and Lor a kiss, she vanished into the ether leaving the men alone in the trashed youth hostel floor with the sound of gendarmes smashing doors open.

“I’m glad you came back,” said Lor quietly, as he lifted Thoki over his shoulder and began shoving the policemen through walls and furniture.

“Yeah,” said Thoki in a weary voice.

“What did you end up doing?” asked Lor. He swung one officer around like a club to finish off three more.

“I’ll tell you when you’re older,” said Thoki, a rare flicker of a smile gracing his wan face. “Let’s just get out of here.”

 

Ep 7. Honor Among Jerks

Plot Summary: Thoki has been kidnapped (after abandoning Lor) and taken to a gathering of trickster gods from other pantheons. Woo Kong (the Monkey of Buddist Legend) has just revealed the name of the ultimate chaos Thoki is Looking for, ISFAT. Thoki wants to use Isfat for his grand scheme of world conquest. Lor is stuck at the Youth Hostle and wondering which hand on the clock is the hour hand?

            “What is ISFAT?” asked Thoki hungrily.

            “‘In the beginning there was void’…” said a deep voice. Turning to find it, Thoki saw Anansi lean forward in his armchair and cast a penetrating stare in his direction.

            “…so says the Hebrew text, yes?” Anansi asked him. Thoki thought that the spider’s voice sounded very deep and rich, like an ad for male hygiene products.

            “I guess,” he said, shrugging. “I’m a little fuzzy on stuff that wasn't written by Snorri Sturluson… or Stan Lee,” he admitted.

           

            Woo Kong shook his head in exasperation. “You’re confusing the boy, Anansi.” He turned to Thoki. “The ancient Egyptians had different views on morality than most people. There was no struggle that was essentially good versus evil.”

            “What about Seth and Osiris?” interjected Eleggua, not even looking up from his game.

            “Even that was about brotherly rivalry and the symbolism of life after death. Even Seth had aspects in him that the Egyptians admired.”

            “Like the Greeks with Hades,” supplied Hermes.

            “Just so, but there was no Devil, no Hecate. There was only just punishment for the wicked. There was no good and bad. There was only order… and chaos.”

            Thoki had only been nodding absently through this spiel– he could care less about ancient morality–but now he sat bolt upright.

            “The goddess of order,” continued Woo Kong “… and the keeper of the laws of Man, was–”

            “Maat,” interjected Thoki. He had researched that much.

            “Correct. Maat embodied reciprocity, justice, truth, and moderation. Her counterpart was the antithesis of this – an all-consuming, annihilating hunger known as Isfet.”

            “Isfet is the god of chaos?” asked Thoki in a reverential whisper.

            “A god? No. Isfet is neither male, nor female. It cannot be defined by avatars or imagery. The Egyptians themselves hardly dared mention its name. Isfet is a force, an all-consuming, negating power. According to legend, Isfet was the black-starless waters of Nun before Atem gave birth to Shu and Tefnut, and they became the heavens and earth.”

           

            “In the beginning there was void,” said Anansi again with a cryptic smile.

            “That passage has another interpretation, ‘In the beginning, there was chaos’,” finished Woo Kong.

            Thoki stared, his mind blown by this revelation.

            “D’yah see now?” asked Puck, breaking the reverential silence with his jagged consonants.  “This t’ing you’re lookin’ for. It ain’t a trickster god. It ain’t even a god. It don’t take orders, and you can’t talk it into anything. It ain’t even a bloody metaphor for the transience of life, or nuffin’. Isfat isn’t a force of change like we are.”

            “It’s a force of oblivion,” finished Hermes. “It is void.”

            “So you see? It’s not some ultimate trickster rock of ages, Thoki. It won’t give you the power of a god, and it can’t be controlled, because by definition, it is uncontrolled,” finished Woo-Kong.

            “There was only one trickster who tapped that source of blasphemous chaos…” To Thoki’s surprise, Coyote had risen to his feet and was addressing him. His eyes were stern and his expression humourless. Musta been one hell of a fun guy as a trickster, thought Thoki.

            “Alright, who was it?” asked Thoki, who already knew the answer.

            “Your father, Loki.”

            “Thought so,” said Thoki glumly.

            Coyote rubbed his neck, regarded the slight Norseman before continuing. “Loki actively set about destroying the Aesir.”

            “He didn’t start out that way,” protested Thoki, wondering why he was defending Loki. “Things were just, sort of…exacerbated.”

            “Yes. From the moment he stole Sif’s hair. His subsequent humiliation, as his lips were sewn together with leather thongs, set into motion a chain of events that led to the destruction of your gods.”

            Raven now stood and joined his brother. “Yours is the only pantheon that was completely obliterated.”

            “What about the Babylonians, or the Celts? Hell, even the Greek Pantheon has fallen. Most of you are on the fringe now. Besides, people still pray to the Norse gods.”

            “The Norse gods are dead Thoki. Not in hiding, not dwindled, like many of us. Dead.”

            “Well, when you put it that way,” conceded Thoki. “Alright, so my dad was a bastard. So what?”

            “So we want your solemn oath that you will not attempt to unleash the powers of Isfat,” said Anansi’s deep voice. The old gentleman slowly unfolded himself from the armchair and strode to the others’ table. He extended a gloved hand towards Thoki and held it there, waiting for it to be shaken.

            “I still don’t get what’s the big deal,” said Thoki petulantly. He felt a knot press in his stomach as he eyed the gloved hand warily. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. He was in trouble now. If he shook Anansi’s hand it was over. No backsides, no crossed fingers. There was too much power, too much magic in this room. No, a handshake on a bargain in here would be as binding as a Hollywood contract.

            “If you unleash Isfat, the seen and the unseen will be cast into terrible peril,” said Reynard, still hunched over the table. He didn’t even look up as his raspy whisper made Thoki’s blood freeze. “More than likely the universe would be consumed by the primordial chaos it was spawned from.”

            “Damn,” said Thoki in a faint voice.

            “You must promise,” insisted Anansi’s tombstone voice again. His hand crept in microscopic increments toward Thoki.

            Thoki felt beads of sweat forming on his forehead, and he shivered feverishly in his damp clothing. To make matters worse, he felt two hands drop onto his shoulders. One was Puck’s and the other was Hermes’. They weren’t hurting him, but the weight of their hold left no room for doubt that hurting was an option should Thoki decide to be difficult.

            “Uh…er….uh!” stammered Thoki, squirming in his chair. Puck’s and Hermes’s grips became a little tighter. The air crackled and stung with energy as the hand advanced, and the fingers on his shoulder bit deeper. Thoki was, by now, well and truly terrified. His breath came in ragged gasps as he felt his heart thrum like a hummingbird’s. The other trickster’s stares bore into him as they leaned forward in anticipation, their collective breath held in suspense.

            “SHAKE IT ALREADY!” shouted Eleggua, jumping off of his stool and flinging his game console to the floor where it clattered and broke.

            As the plastic cracked and smashed into pieces, so did their hold on Thoki.

            “YOU FOOL!” Woo Kong snapped at the boy.

            Thoki wriggled out of Hermes’ and Puck’s hold and tried to jump up from his seat, but another set of hands held him down – Raven, had seized him by the arms and shoved him back into it. Hermes then hooked Thoki around the neck, while Puck wrapped his stout arm under his armpits.

            “Make him shake hands!” shouted Reynard.

            Raven nodded, and using all his strength, tried to man-handle Thoki’s arm into position. Thoki cursed and struggled, fighting them off with all his strength as Anansi’s hand grew dangerously close.

            “No! HE has to do it!” cried Puck, releasing Thoki and standing back. Thoki got his legs under him, and managed to pull back a bit.

            “He’s right!” shouted Woo Kong. “This violates all laws. Thoki has to do it of his own free will.”

            “He’s not going to! We can’t take that chance!” countered Reynard.

            “At the risk of the magic turning on us?”

            “Better cursed than erased for all time!” countered the Frenchman.

            “Help me!” grunted Raven. Coyote watched his brother in discomfort and seemed to be dithering on a decision. Eleggua had no such qualms and launched himself on the chair. It toppled over, smashing into Hermes’ nose and giving Thoki a second of unfettered freedom. It was all he needed. In a flash, he’d rolled to his feet and scampered out of the room. He ran with his heart pounding in his throat, certain that any second he’d feel a blow to his kidneys, or the tread of a foot on his heel.

            It never came. Turning around he realized, to his surprise, that they weren’t even chasing him. 

            “What gives?” he muttered uneasily.

            He heard a laugh by his ear that made him whip around. A short, sloe-haired and decidedly sexy woman was standing next to him. In her hand was a gold-plated iPod.

            “I thought you could use my help,” she said with a grin.

            “ERIS?”

TO BE CONTINUED…